Dear 'Cross Nats

Dear 'Cross Nats,

I'm sorry to have to tell you this way, but I'm not going to be able to make it to see you next month like we had planned. It's not you, it's me.

My recent reductions in training volume have really taken their toll me on, you wouldn't want to see me in my current condition. Honest. My legs are flabby and shapeless, my ass is huge, and my tan lines have somehow disappeared with the sprouting of fresh hair on my legs.

School has turned my brain to mush and I would be too preoccupied to give you the attention you deserve. I'm driving home for Turkey day and well, I'm really only good for one drivathon per year. 2008's quota is filled, and with the gas prices what they are there's just no way I can afford to come visit. My new roommate hasn't panned out yet so I'm really strapped for cash, my car is in dire need of an oil change and I don't even have enough quarters to do laundry. If only I were stronger, you wouldn't want to see me like this anyway. I don't want to see me like this.

I'm sure you'll have plenty of fun with all of those 'other' boys anyway. They're in much better shape than I am. This is a good thing, for both of us. I think Matt Rotroff will be coming to visit in my place. Tell him I said 'what's up'.

Regretfully,
Aaron